oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
