Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Randomize
