Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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