I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Your dad touched me again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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