is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
