I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
