i barfeds in our rink
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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