I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't think brook has ever known best
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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