I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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