Your tits are I can't wait for
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
