I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
