Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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