scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
