when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
