hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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