I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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