We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's never too late to be topless.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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