She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
