i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
