All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
