And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My pussy is not your playground.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
