a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
