so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
