Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The uberlube is also flammable
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
