i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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