I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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