yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize