super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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