I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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