We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
