I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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