Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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