I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
