What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
