dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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