I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
