Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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