Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize