I want you more than these girls want KFC
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
