i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
