all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
