were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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