Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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