Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
