go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
