She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I supernannyed him into submission
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
