Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
