How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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