Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
