Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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