hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
