do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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