just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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