He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
