Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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