am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize