hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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