Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize