No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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