girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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